My Short Term Memory
From the archives of Paul Corbin
Now that I am a senior citizen, I am finding that the citizenry as a whole is very considerate in tolerating the many deficiencies brought on by my declining years. Boys, young men, and beautiful ladies hold the door open for me as I enter the post office or the grocery store. If I have a package of more than five pounds, they offer to carry it for me. Most of them know that I am living alone, and some of these ladies bring me cookies, cakes, pies, and sometimes a tray containing a complete meal.
This is all greatly appreciated, but there are a few battles I have to fight alone, and one of these very annoying problems is my short term memory. I can't remember incidents that happened yesterday. I have already forgotten what I did yesterday, what I am supposed to do today, and where I put the tools I will need to finish the job I started last week.
I don't have any trouble remembering historic events, like the date that Meriwether Lewis visited the town of Cape Girardeau, when the first steam boat came chugging through the Panama Canal, or when Orson Wells created a wave of hysteria with his radio rendition of "War of the Worlds." I am really strong on remembering, in detail, the things I did back in the thirties and things that happened forty years ago, but when you ask me about something that happened yesterday or last week, I draw a blank.
I believe I could write another book, if I could remember all the brilliant ideas I have, while I am lying in bed at night. Some of the dreams I have would make a wonderful story, but when I awaken in the morning, my short term memory has lost it all.
Just a few days ago--or maybe it was yesterday--or was it last night--I was watching a TV commercial that was trying to sell vitamin pills, or weight-reducing pills, or something like that, and along comes a wonderful idea for a story. I thinks to myself, "I had better get me a pencil and paper and write this down before I forget it."
Had I limited myself to just the two items--the pencil and paper--I probably would have made it all right, but I was thirsty, so I decided to get a cup of coffee before I started writing, and while I was doing that, I just happened to see this sugar glazed doughnut, wrapped in clear plastic and lying on the counter. I decide to take that along, too. Now, I am up to four items, instead of just two, and that is stretching the capacity of my short term memory to the verge of "Adios, Idea!"
I make it to the chair in the living room with the pencil, the doughnut, and the cup of coffee, but then I realize that I didn't get any paper, so I set the coffee and the doughnut on the table near the chair where I had been watching TV, put the pencil behind my ear and head out to my office to get a writing tablet.
Now, I am ready to go, but where is my pencil? By this time, the TV program I had been watching was over, and my wonderful idea is fading fast. In order to calm down, I take a swig of my coffee, and, as I raise the drink to my mouth, I jab my hand on the sharp lead of the pencil that is protruding from behind my ear, causing me to drop the coffee cup and spill half of it down the front of my shirt.
At this point, I have completely forgotten what I was going to write about, so I decide right then and there--from now on, I will keep a tape recorder handy, even taking it to bed with me. When I have a brilliant idea, I can immediately record it and not have to strain to remember it.
I am very sorry that I have taken up so much of your valuable time with my ranting and raving about this incident, but if you will forgive me, and if I don't forget, I will make it up to you the next time I write a column. I may even tell you about my short term memory.
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