Life on the Funny Farm
Things are never dull on the Funny Farm. Sometimes frustrating, but rarely dull... The latest excitement centers around Patsy, the house goat, who often furnishes me with snippets of silly information for my columns in the North Stoddard Countian. Her latest escapades involve opening the doors to her pen and greeting me on the front porch with the dogs.
Patsy, of course, was raised in my kitchen, an unwise, though (I thought) necessary step, when she was born to a too-young mother. I guess grandmothers have taken that step from the beginning of time...Mom is too young, so gramma raises the child.
Anyway, not that I'm grandmother to a goat.......but, then, if the shoe fits...
The salient point is this: I become far too emotionally involved with my small herd of brush goats, who are managed by my son and I, in an uneasy alliance, often splintered by contrasting views on child...er..goat rearing. In his words, "Mom, they're just goats!" (a phrase guaranteed to cause a major brouhaha)
I just happen to think that, despite their obvious lack of intelligence, goats are just pretty darn cute! I like their eyes especially, and the way they look up at your face, pretending that they understand every word you say. Nothing is farther from the truth, of course, as they don't seem able to put two and two together -- unless it'll get them out of the confines of a pen.
And, yes, the pupils of their eyes ARE rectangular!
Today my PETA daughter called me (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) to ask some advice on goats. It seems that some goats were getting their heads stuck in a fence somewhere and a neighbor had to go get them out. By that time, they were almost dead, so the neighbor called PETA. Kristin is the go-to person on goats, since her mom raises them.
"Mom, do you have any advice for how to keep a goat from getting its head stuck in a fence?" she asked.
Well, I believe I do! It just so happens that a goat-raising friend of mine had the same problem (we all do), and her husband invented a most unique solution. When Editor Bobby posts my photo, you'll see this simple head-saving device, constructed from a simple length of wood, fastened to the goat's horns with radiator hose clamps.
Now we just need a name for this handy-dandy device. Goat Begone? Anti-goat head catcher? Naw....nothing sounds right.
Any ideas?
Signing off from the hills of Tillman, this is your resident goat journalist, Madeline.....
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Goats R Us!!!