Grandma Diaries: What the heck is soccer??
Can't teach an old dog new tricks
When my son Matthew was five years old, we signed him up for t-ball and faithfully took him to all the evening games, fighting off the mosquitoes and watching him stand in the outfield filling the holes in his old shoes with sand. Occasionally, he caught sight of a high-flying airplane and watched until it was over the horizon.
Last night I had a feeling of deja vue, as I watched another little blond-haired boy chasing a soccer ball across a large green field. Other teams of boys and girls were divided up, chasing similiar balls.
Same scenario--minus the sand.
The principle behind t-ball was simple--hit the ball and run the bases. Familiar.
Not so with soccer! I never did understand the game.
I remember when the Dexter School District imported a "REAL girl's p.e. teacher" to acquaint us with all the finer aspects of both indoor and outdoor sports. Ms. Mary McMahon was a breath of fresh air! No more girls' P.E. classes taught by Coach Lee, the boys' football coach! Yippee!
We played softball, dappled in gymnastic floor exercises (a real puzzle for most of us), and SOCCER!
We gathered under the trees at the near edge of the old football field, while Ms. M explained the game; however, no matter how clear the instructions, the game always deteriorated in this scene:
Phase 1: Large group of assorted girls gather in a huge chaotic circle, kicking each others' shins until someone connects with the ball--hurling it all the way down to the opposite end of the field (about 5 miles in those days).
Phase 2: All but the most wimpy girls run like bats outta hell after the ball.
Phase 3: A dozen or so girls reach the ball and proceed to kick it into each other, until the rest of the pack arrive to continue pummeling each others' shins unmercifully.
Phase 4: Someone once again kicks the ball hard enough to send it on its homeward journey back to the high school end of the field. At this point, the entire mob of girls charge back to the starting point as hard as they can run.
My soccer consultant has run off a sheet of terms for me entitled "Soccer Positions Made Easy."
As I understand it, my grandson was supposed to be playing "fullback" last night.
Yeah? Isn't the "fullback" very similar to the "outfielder" in t-ball??
I'm just glad I don't have to do the teaching!
Comments
- -- Posted by Dexterite1 on Thu, Aug 18, 2011, at 5:51 AM
- -- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Aug 18, 2011, at 6:56 AM
- -- Posted by judy.gregory@sbcglobal.net on Thu, Aug 18, 2011, at 3:24 PM
- -- Posted by Madeline1 on Fri, Aug 19, 2011, at 7:54 AM
- -- Posted by austinlady on Tue, May 15, 2012, at 6:53 PM
- -- Posted by Madeline1 on Wed, May 30, 2012, at 7:12 AM
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