The moose poop necklace
Mama was a jokester!
In a recent conversation with a reader, I mentioned that I had once sent an Alaskan moose-poop necklace to my mother several years ago, when we lived in Fairbanks.
Let me first explain--Alaskans, we soon learned, have a very "earthy" sense of humor. In the gift shop at the Fairbanks International Airport, they sell little souvenir moose figures, made from (yes, I am serious!) dried moose turds (for the body) and pipe cleaners (for the legs). In the early 70's, these clever little trinkets sold for the bargain price of $2.00.
That's how I got the idea for the necklace. My Aunt Marie and Uncle Raymond were living in Fairbanks at the time, and they invited me to go blueberry picking in the Goldstream valley with them. It just so happens that moose are very fond of blueberries. So are bears, but that's another story.
As we were picking berries, I came across an ENORMOUS pile of POOP! I was awestricken and shouted for my aunt to come look.
"Oh, that's a moose pile!" said my aunt, laughing at my reaction. All the old-timers love to watch the reactions of a cheechako to what they see in this alien state.
The jokester in me could not resist--I immediately dumped my blueberries into my aunt's bucket and scooped up the moose turds into mine. And, yes, one pile more than filled up a two-gallon bucket! I could have filled two 5-gallon buckets with treasure!
My aunt laughed her head off, and my uncle smiled his sweet smile--which was a much a laugh as I ever saw him make.
I took the bucket home and prepared to have some fun with my newly-discovered craft project.
Let me explain: Moose turds, which are oval-shaped and about two inches long, are very DRY. This fact is important to remember, as it makes my little enterprise much less,,ah...gross. Really!
I was very much into crafts at this point in my life. I painted, decoupaged, worked with clay, made jewelry, painted rocks...I was a busy little bee, always looking for a new "medium" in which to work.
I chose several of the nicer moose trinkets and brushed them with several coats of shellac. After they were quite dry, I strung them together with string, popped them into a gift box, wrapped the box in gift paper, and mailed it to my mother, whom, I must add, was the QUEEN OF PRACTICAL JOKES!
I chuckled as I thought of her opening this gift, remembering all the many, many times when she had played practical jokes on me and any innocent victim she could catch!!
I knew what her reaction would be! She would absolutely LOVE it! She would laugh until she cried! Then, she would show the gift to my sister, my brothers, my Aunt Clarie from Australia (who would love it, too!) and anyone else who happened along! She would even show it to the mailman or the customers in her drapery shop! My mom would get more mileage out of that joke than I got out of my first Jeep!
When I thought of all the times she had tricked me with things like fake cans of peanut brittle, which, when opened, spewed out fake snakes! Oh, my, how my toes had tingled on that little joke!
Or the time, when I looked out our Pyletown kitchen window in horror, as she took the "peanut brittle" out to the driveway to offer it to a teenage Bobby Putnam, as he sat innocently on his tractor. I couldn't believe it! I had a crush on him at the time, and I was absolutely MORTIFIED!
"No, Mom! Don't do it!" I had pleaded! But would she listen to me??? Of course not! She never did!
She didn't listen to me, when another neighbor showed her an egg that his goose had laid--and she took it back to the barn and put it into a banty hen's nest. My dad found it and brought it to the house. He couldn't believe it, and he even showed it to the neighbors, while Mom could hardly keep from laughing!
She was like that. Anything for a joke!
So, you see, dear readers, my mother very much deserved that moose-poop necklace!
Comments
- -- Posted by swift on Thu, Apr 11, 2013, at 3:55 PM
- -- Posted by Madeline1 on Sat, Apr 13, 2013, at 7:13 AM
- -- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Apr 13, 2013, at 7:18 AM
- -- Posted by swift on Tue, Apr 16, 2013, at 3:36 PM
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